Marriage Monday: Why Dating your Spouse is Important

As I’m sure many people already know marriage is something you have to be willing to constantly work at. Marriage is more than just throwing a wedding and starting a family, it’s about choosing one person who you want to grow with and cherish for the rest of your life. And just like anything else, you can’t expect to never work at it, and everything to be perfect. Now, I’m not saying marriage is all work and no fun. Quite the opposite actually. I think half the fun of marriage is finding ways you can improve your relationship and make it even better than the day before, cause in the end it’s your spouse and you. Kids, pets, friends, they will all come and go but your spouse is that one person who will always be there with you, so it’s important to show your marriage the attention and love it deserves.

That being said, today’s marriage post is all about why dating your husband/spouse is a great way to grow your marriage. Now I just want to say, I am no marriage expert nor am I trying to be one. I just want to share with all of you the things that have worked for my marriage, and who knows maybe it’ll work for you too!

So why is dating your spouse so important? Well, think about it, we all started out dating this person because we were attracted to them or something drew us toward them.  We got dolled up, we worried about what outfit would impress them, we put our best behavior and manners forward because it was a new relationship and we wanted it to flourish into something more. So why stop all that now just because you’re married? If anything, we should be embracing that same mentality toward our marriages, because this is a lifelong commitment we chose to make.

So, what do I mean by dating your spouse? I mean getting dressed up, taking time to put effort into your look, and going out to dinner, a movie, or whatever you used to do when you were dating.  I feel like this is a great way to show your spouse, “hey, I still want to impress you”. This will make them feel important and wanted, which in turn will make you feel those same things. This also gives you guys a chance to just focus on each other and forget about all your other responsibilities. It’s even better if you can get your spouse to agree to no phones during your date night, so that you guys can really spend that time talking and enjoying each other’s company without the distractions. I find that when my husband and I really started making an effort to stop using our phones during dinner dates that we always ended up having so much more fun. We laughed more, we spent time going over what happened that week or future plans we wanted to make, and it just created such a better connection between us. And in my personal experience, the better the communication and connection, the better the intimacy, if you get my drift. (wink wink)

How to do this even when you don’t have the time or money? So, I can definitely relate to this because for one entire year during my clinical rotations my husband and I were on opposite schedules and we only saw each other one day a week. It was torture. But on that one day we had together we would try our hardest to do something special. Whether it was just sitting on the couch and watching a show, or going to the gym together, we tried (even though we were exhausted) to do at least one thing together. Which brings me to my next point, dating your husband doesn’t always have to be a night out, or some expensive dinner. A simple home cooked meal or movie night in, will do just fine. The most important part of dating your spouse is that you are mental present there with them, and not doing other work or playing on your phone. Show your spouse that they are more important than all that by giving them your undivided attention. There’s no better way to let a person know how important they are to you, than giving them your time and full attention.

Lastly, dating you spouse is fun! I mean let’s not kid ourselves, everyone loves that “beginning of a relationship” feeling.  Those butterflies in your stomach, the intense passion, and excitement, it’s a thrilling and blissful feeling, so why stop it just cause your married! I love getting all dolled up for my husband and pretending like it’s one of our first dates and being all mushy and lovey-dovey with him. It reminds me of when we first started dating and it makes it feel like we’ve only been together for a short time, not 8 years.

Which brings up another point, there is nothing wrong with a little PDA on date night. I mean keep it PG for the public, but if you’re in the car and about to go into dinner or something, grabbing your spouse and having a passionate make-out session is AWESOME! Lol I mean come on we used to do it when we dated, why stop now!? I love surprising my husband with little moments like that. Keeps him on his toes and it gets him all excited and into the evening too. Plus, a little fun sidenote about human behavior, the more intimate touching you have, the more intimacy there will be. Those little hand-holding gestures, and small caresses of their arm or leg, really adds up. So, maybe next time you’re feeling like you’re having a boring date night don’t be afraid to be spontaneous and surprise you spouse. It can be fun and refreshing for both of you.

So, there you have it my little spiel on why dating your spouse is important. For me, planning date nights with my husband has been a great way for us to stay connected and feel like we know what’s going on in each other’s lives. It’s also a great way to keep communication open between us without any distractions and dedicate time to being intimate. But most importantly, date nights are all about HAVING FUN!

So, whether you’re feeling a little disconnected from your spouse or you just want to find a way to keep the intimacy alive, incorporating date night into your routine could be the answer.

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4 Comments

  1. Great post! I couldn’t agree with you more! I wrote a post on marriage for our anniversary in May and this is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned after 10 years. You definitely need to make time for one another. We have two kids and some weeks it may just be a quick happy hour between the end of the school day ( we are fortunate to work at the same school) and picking up the kids from after-care. But that time is so important to connect and talk.

  2. Great post! Spending “Couple time” and making Date Night a priority amongst all of the business of today’s lives is key. That’s why I created the Love Calendar at CreativeCommitments.com – it’s a regular calendar that you both can put on the fridge and look forward to your Date each month! It’s fun to think ahead a bit and try new Date Ideas besides the classic dinner and a movie! Keep up the great work on your blog!

    1. What a great idea! I love that idea. I will have to make sure I check that out! Thank you so much for the kind words. Keep up the great work on your page as well!

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